The year of my Saturn's return. It's been slightly dramatic.
At first it didn't seem all that rough...but as the magnifying glass was held closer and closer; well, the details were clear as could be. The sloughing off of dead and dried skin is quite similar to what this year has felt like. Except that somehow I became the loofah for my own life and my life's skin has been the texture of gravel for some time now. You can imagine what that might feel like...yeah, imagine it. go ahead.
Let me get past the metaphors before it gets out of hand. I have been out of balance spiritually for a long time now, but quitting a job of two years has really made a difference. The job became less and less sustainable as time went on, the whole kit and caboodle was a mess I didn't want to contribute to any longer. I walked out. That was in October.
The past few months have been difficult, eye opening, heart wrenching, sometimes dark, and at other times; extremely light. I suddenly realized that something bigger was shifting in my life. It wasn't the fact alone that I didn't have a job that was troubling me, or that I was going from rewarding job making the most money I've ever made, and spare time to work on my business, to emotionally messy and manipulative boss, to no job, no money and no real idea of what to do next; it was something bigger within me. To note; deep down it doesn't bother me, not having piles of money, but up here on the surface; it's crucial, not to have piles, but to have enough. I gathered my senses and have been stripping away what is unnecessary, the universe seemed to be helping me in that regard but there was work to be done. As the layers fell I have added a few new ones that belong and am doing my best to move forward with what I have. I am truly grateful for my partner's love & advice and for the close friends I have who have given me wonderful support and encouragement, I'd have buckled & fallen apart by now without them.
My path has always been a shadowed, blurred, forked, yet plentiful, reckless propulsion into the unknown, as most people's are, I'm sure. When I found the opportunities and tools to start creating art in a completely different medium; I felt a very big 'click' and from that moment it's been slowly, intuitively, and happily churning: Herbalism. In the home, in the heart, it's life. The magick of plants, the magick of earth. Are you still with me? I found an outlet that was also an inlet, I could start letting people in again. I found a community and a stable island easily accessed from the mainland! My mermaid ways were about to change!
With my sea legs I now swim AND walk with incredibly kind and lovely people, constantly learning and loving and making a path that isn't so blurred or reckless. There are other paths that I still wish to go down, but those paths are connected to what I'm doing now! Herbalism can be at the center of all the things I love and am passionate about. The warmth and hope that brings me is immense.
In the past, I haven't really wished or waited anxiously for a year to be through, for the new slate to arrive; and still now, I don't wait anxiously for it to be over with, I just look forward to the new season of my life to begin. I'm learning and working through this as I go along and hope that you'll be joining in on this process, however you wish to participate. I'm always open to feed back and ideas to improve not just how I make a product or what I make but beyond all that too!
Thank you for reading, I haven't written in this style for a few whiles and I'm a little rusty in the way of structuring my thoughts into readable content. For the public.
At first it didn't seem all that rough...but as the magnifying glass was held closer and closer; well, the details were clear as could be. The sloughing off of dead and dried skin is quite similar to what this year has felt like. Except that somehow I became the loofah for my own life and my life's skin has been the texture of gravel for some time now. You can imagine what that might feel like...yeah, imagine it. go ahead.
Let me get past the metaphors before it gets out of hand. I have been out of balance spiritually for a long time now, but quitting a job of two years has really made a difference. The job became less and less sustainable as time went on, the whole kit and caboodle was a mess I didn't want to contribute to any longer. I walked out. That was in October.
The past few months have been difficult, eye opening, heart wrenching, sometimes dark, and at other times; extremely light. I suddenly realized that something bigger was shifting in my life. It wasn't the fact alone that I didn't have a job that was troubling me, or that I was going from rewarding job making the most money I've ever made, and spare time to work on my business, to emotionally messy and manipulative boss, to no job, no money and no real idea of what to do next; it was something bigger within me. To note; deep down it doesn't bother me, not having piles of money, but up here on the surface; it's crucial, not to have piles, but to have enough. I gathered my senses and have been stripping away what is unnecessary, the universe seemed to be helping me in that regard but there was work to be done. As the layers fell I have added a few new ones that belong and am doing my best to move forward with what I have. I am truly grateful for my partner's love & advice and for the close friends I have who have given me wonderful support and encouragement, I'd have buckled & fallen apart by now without them.
My path has always been a shadowed, blurred, forked, yet plentiful, reckless propulsion into the unknown, as most people's are, I'm sure. When I found the opportunities and tools to start creating art in a completely different medium; I felt a very big 'click' and from that moment it's been slowly, intuitively, and happily churning: Herbalism. In the home, in the heart, it's life. The magick of plants, the magick of earth. Are you still with me? I found an outlet that was also an inlet, I could start letting people in again. I found a community and a stable island easily accessed from the mainland! My mermaid ways were about to change!
With my sea legs I now swim AND walk with incredibly kind and lovely people, constantly learning and loving and making a path that isn't so blurred or reckless. There are other paths that I still wish to go down, but those paths are connected to what I'm doing now! Herbalism can be at the center of all the things I love and am passionate about. The warmth and hope that brings me is immense.
In the past, I haven't really wished or waited anxiously for a year to be through, for the new slate to arrive; and still now, I don't wait anxiously for it to be over with, I just look forward to the new season of my life to begin. I'm learning and working through this as I go along and hope that you'll be joining in on this process, however you wish to participate. I'm always open to feed back and ideas to improve not just how I make a product or what I make but beyond all that too!
Thank you for reading, I haven't written in this style for a few whiles and I'm a little rusty in the way of structuring my thoughts into readable content. For the public.